I seriously can't it put any other way. Ant is the realist of the real, and that's some real shit.
I know that may sound kind of goofy, but it's the truth! It's rare that you can find entertainers -- much less members of rap groups -- who keep it so real that you are in awe of their of their honesty. Ant is one of those people.
Before 2005 Ant wasn't really in the spotlight at all; Slug was the man who went out and toured, effectively becoming the public face of Atmosphere while Ant chilled back home in Minneapolis. In recent times however, Ant has been seen all over the place spreading his realness across the nation, leaving Atmosphere fans in complete astonishment and admiration.
I may be going out on a limb here, but argue me this: if everyone kept it as real as Ant does, terrorism wouldn't exist. Dane Cook would actually be funny. And most importantly, that damn George W. Bush most definitely wouldn't have been elected for two terms in a row.
The first two were jokes.
Anyway, I've compiled a little list on things about Ant that add to his overall realness. Read on.
1) Ant likes to smoke and drink beers, so he fucking smokes and drinks beers.
Chances are if you've seen Ant in person, he more than likely has a beer in his hand or a cigarette in his mouth--or both. Essential to his overall cool and realness, Ant has to be smoking or drinking a budweiser.
Think I'm joking? Take another look at the picture at the top of this post. How many other DJs do you know that can can spin records and smoke at the same time?
Kid Capri? No.
DJ Q-Bert? Nope.
Tony Touch? Hell no (does he even DJ anymore?).
DJ Abilities? Better think twice.
Ant? Yes, motherfucker. He probably has a six-pack of Budweiser right by his feet when he's performing. Why?
Because Ant keeps shit real.
2) Ant gives you brutal honesty. If you don't like it, fuck you.
This is just self-explanatory right here. Ant tells you the truth, and nothing but the truth. You do know that Brother Ali's second LP, which Ant produced, is called The Undisputed Truth right? Who do you think came up with that title--Ant did. His truth is indisputable and he tells it like it is, how it was, and how it shall be.
Here's my evidence for this claim (notice the Budweiser and cigarette in his left hand):
Did you hear that? Here are some real ass quotes from that video:
"No fuck you--you're retarded. Slug is a motherfucking gawddamn genius, fuck you."
"I don't take it serious because nobody else does. I don't think anybody else takes this shit seriously, so why should I?"
Interviewer: "Is there a number on the years until you retire?"
Ant: "Kidney failure."
And here's a bonus quote from Atmosphere's Paint It Gold Show:
Slug: "So Ant, what made you decide to start touring with a live band?"
Ant: "When I needed a new house."
That's some real ass shit.
3) Ant maintains his cool at all times, no matter what else is going on.
Seriously, he does. No matter what Ant may be doing his cool is at a constant.
I can explain it better like this:
The sun rises every morning.
Birds migrate south for the winter.
Slug's female fans hate Lucy.
Ant is the coolest motherfucker within a 20 mile radius.
Look at these pictures for instance, taken from the Sad Clown Bad Dub 13 DVD:
What's Slug doing? Being silly making snow angels.
What's Ant doing? Keeping it real, being cool smoking a fucking cigarette. Because that's what the fuck Ant does and he's a cool ass motherfucker.
Again, we see Ant being cool as hell. Standing on the corner of a street, holding up a sign for a song called "Panic Attack" (which he is immune to, simply because he's Ant and panicking isn't in his repertoire), but still being cool. See the look on his face? His ever present cigarette? It's all cool baby. Constant cool. Classic Ant.
Now we see Atmosphere performing. Look closely: Slug is rapping. The bass player is playing. The fans are cheering. Ant? Ant's being cool. He's got his cigarette, and he's clapping along with the music in the coolest way possible. Everyone else is on edge, focusing on something that their full attention must be given to, except Ant. Ant's not on edge--Ant's focused on being cool, which is something he doesn't even have to focus on being. It's natural. It's Ant.
What's Ant doing? Keeping it real, being cool smoking a fucking cigarette. Because that's what the fuck Ant does and he's a cool ass motherfucker.
Again, we see Ant being cool as hell. Standing on the corner of a street, holding up a sign for a song called "Panic Attack" (which he is immune to, simply because he's Ant and panicking isn't in his repertoire), but still being cool. See the look on his face? His ever present cigarette? It's all cool baby. Constant cool. Classic Ant.
Now we see Atmosphere performing. Look closely: Slug is rapping. The bass player is playing. The fans are cheering. Ant? Ant's being cool. He's got his cigarette, and he's clapping along with the music in the coolest way possible. Everyone else is on edge, focusing on something that their full attention must be given to, except Ant. Ant's not on edge--Ant's focused on being cool, which is something he doesn't even have to focus on being. It's natural. It's Ant.
Do you see what I mean now? Ant is the realist of the real, keeping it real with himself and all others on a definite basis. He is the epitome of cool, not changing his attitude or opinions for no one. So Atmosphere fans: when Ant's around, you need to know that he's cool, so be cool around him. He's a real dude who keeps it real, so keep it real with him.
If we all follow Ant's lead, the world will truly be a better place.
If we all follow Ant's lead, the world will truly be a better place.
5 comments:
hahaha. I enjoyed that.
Thanks! I had a blast writing it. I just hope Ant doesn't somehow stumble on this and decides to put out a hit on me.
That would suck.
I would send it to him but he doesn't know how to use the internet.
Maybe Slug will somehow land on it and let him read it. I wanna give them shit about it at the Columbia show.
Hahaha. Spot on. Ant is the realist of reals and the coolest of cools!!!
At a Atmosphere show up here in Alaska, me and my girl waited backstage after the show to try and meet them and get foot fives as they got back on their bus.
Slug never came out but Ant did. Dude was fucking awesome and he gave us both foot fives. Love that man!! Plus showing some love to AK is what's up!! <3
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